


and if you must

by vindice



Series: I'm half doomed and you're semi-sweet [3]
Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!, Yu-Gi-Oh!
Genre: Character Study, Dimension Travel, Fluff, Gen, M/M, Parental Kawahira, Relationship Study, Reminiscing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2018-09-02
Packaged: 2019-07-05 19:00:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15869775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vindice/pseuds/vindice
Summary: “There was no him without me, the same way I wasn't me without him.”





	and if you must

**Author's Note:**

> Happy birthday, my love.

Ryou knew he was dreaming the moment the soothing waves and the fresh breeze reached his ears and brushed his skin.  
  
He enjoyed the calm that washed over him every time he found himself inside his mindscape, that soothing place so alike a soulroom. He could feel Kawahira standing next to him, probably looking ahead from the way his kimono swayed closely. They stood there for what felt like a long time, basking in the comfortable silence shared in pleasant company.  
  
“I never understood.” Kawahira prompted after awhile, the usual muted interest he only showed few through the almost nonexistent cracks on his blank mask.  
  
“About what?” He replied softly, eyes still closed.  
  
Ryou allowed himself to be directed to the porch swing, hands settling over his stomach and hair waving with the wind.  
  
Kawahira hummed. “The day I met you, in the breach between dimensions. When I looked into your memories.”  
  
This time, he didn't need to ask what was he talking about. It was bound to come up sooner or later, whether by mistake or just plain curiosity. He was actually surprised it had taken this long for someone to ask, but looking back, that Kawahira had been the one to bring it up at this moment brought a small curl to the corner of his lips.  
  
Talking about the past. After all these years, it’s the least he could do. For both himself, and the person involved.  
  
“He never hurt me,” he commented. “I used to be afraid of him, but then again, humans fear that they do not understand.” Ryou said. “But he never hurt me. He didn’t show much after that first day, when I sneaked out of my father’s vessel and followed him into the pyramids. When I put on the Ring after father passed out.” His lips pursed in amusement. “I always wondered about that. I have a feeling it was because he knew he freaked me out, and he didn’t want to scare me. Whether it was because it wasn’t in his best interests or because I was a child, I do not know.”  
  
Ryou opened his eyes and focused on a distant point under the sky, not really paying attention to the scene. It was a sight he really enjoyed, the ocean, but right now something called to him across the horizon.  
  
“I knew from the beginning I was just a means to an end, or at least that was his plan at first.” He grinned, a barely-there thing that vanished as soon as it came. “That was until I reached out.”  
  
Ryou blinked, and suddenly they had changed places. He could still pinpoint the same scene before him, but now he was lying on his side, head on Kawahira’s lap. The porch swing rocked lightly and Kawahira’s hands played idly with his hair.  
  
“Hm. Vengeance, I could deal with. He never told me why he was seeking revenge, though, and I never knew until that last duel.” His gaze locked on the distance, eyes looking at something only he could see. A beat later, he said, “he never attacked me directly, of his own volition.”  
  
The memory of a RPG table and a room full of figurines flashed behind his eyes. Absentmindedly, his fingers skimmed over the scar marring his skin.  
  
“And he had his twisted way to show he cared.”  
  
The memory changed to one he remembered clearly; the other Yugi ordering his monster to attack, Bakura arguing with Malik and shoving Ryou aside at the last moment. The radio silence when he was unconscious after the attack, alone in his soulroom. The static noises that filled his head up until he found the Ring hidden in Yugi’s possessions.  
  
“I don't really know how to explain it, but, the closer I can come with is... there was no him without me, the same way I wasn't me without him, but we didn't really need each other to survive. It was as if–” he cut himself short.  
  
“ _Our souls are one and the same. A sole star, if you will._ ” Kawahira’s voice was barely a whisper, but Ryou knew it was mostly because he was talking to himself. “That’s how you described yourselves.”

He nodded slowly. “I never really cared the way he sometimes seemed to go into a place none could follow the way others did, because unlike them, I completely understood him.”  
  
“It never really bothered me either, that Malik claimed himself worthier than me, that he used me as their scapegoat and Yugi’s liability. I knew my other’s soul upside down,” He said, a somewhat dull sigh passing through his throat. “I knew what soothed his pain and what set him on edge. I knew where his rough edges were and how deep they could cut, but I was also willing to entrust myself to them without thinking twice in a way Malik never could, never would allow himself to, and I think that’s what enraged him.”  
  
They stayed quiet, enjoying the peaceful atmosphere. Kawahira’s fingers dipped into his hair, massaging his scalp.  
  
“I was what soothed him.” He said after a while. “I turned myself into a home, and I never pushed. I was there for him to come back when he were ready. But a home can’t be one without a base, and he was that to me—my pillar of strength.”  
  
Ryou looked back at him, trying to convey how he felt.  
  
“He was no more danger to myself than I was to him.” Ryou finished with a smile, melancholy and joy twinkling together in his eyes. “And at the end of the day, Bakura cared for me more than he could for anyone else.”  
  
There were more things he wanted to say. _I knew he hid a piece of his soul on the Puzzle_ ; _the Ring, what it means, it was the only thing anchoring him for a long time_ ; _I am here now because I couldn’t bear the thought of losing him again._ But Kawahira stared back, the same way he always did whenever Ryou was with him. As if he could read his thoughts and comprehend him in a way nobody but Bakura had bothered to. His hand slid from Ryou’s hair to the side of his neck, caressing his face on the way down, thumb settling on his jaw.  
  
“I see.” He said after a beat. Ryou knew he did.  
  
“Are we done?” Ryou asked knowingly.  
  
Kawahira didn’t smile, but his features softened. Ryou remembered a time where this entity’s eyes held no warmth, not even coldness. A time where only a blank and calculating stare received him, the sharpness that hid all of what this being was from the outside world.  
  
“It’s an important day,” it’s all he said, not shrugging but managing to convey the feeling. “I was making sure you were happy. I always knew, but I understand now.”  
  
Ryou smiled at him before staring back into the distance, a timid curve accentuating his lips. He took the hand resting on his shoulder between his own as he got up and squeezed lightly. Kawahira did the same, a knowing look on his eyes.  
  
“He’s calling for you,” Kawahira said, looking at the same place in the horizon, where the scene was rippling as if there was a heat point on the surface. “His flames are getting irritated.”  
  
Ryou chuckled. “He’s always irritated,” there was no real heat in his words, only fondness.  
  
They let go of their hands, Kawahira dipping his head in response. Ryou walked forward before turning to wave at him. Their clothing was already changing: Kawahira’s kimono had semi-translucent checkered patterns, and his face was overlapping with Checker Face’s mask. Ryou’s own yukata had turned into a traditional kimono.  
  
“See you at the ceremony, Kawahira-san.”  
  
Ryou’s flames tentatively reached out for his Sky’s, and latched onto them when Bakura’s flames lighted up in recognition. The Wrath flames wrapped tightly around his Mist, and Ryou basked in the warm feeling washing over him. With a purr, he allowed himself being pulled back into consciousness.  
  
Bright, fiery rubies greeted him. Bakura’s face was marred with a scowl, eyes lit up with annoyance and concern. Ryou chuckled, not unkindly. They stood just outside the shrine, right where Ryou was before Kawahira called for him.  
  
“Why does he always feel the need to have heart to hearts at the last moment?” Bakura complained, but relaxed at what he interpreted from Ryou’s reaction.  
  
“Did he talk to you as well?” Ryou asked, taking the hand offered to him. Bakura entwined their fingers and nodded. Ryou shrugged, still smiling. “That’s how he cares.”  
  
Bakura hummed, irritation leaving him at once. He grinned and kissed Ryou’s cheek.  
  
“Are you nervous?”  
  
Ryou shook his head, cheeks as warm as the feeling flooding his bloodstream. “Happy.”  
  
“I am, too.” Bakura said, eyes soft.

**Author's Note:**

> Of all the wips I had on queue, I never expected this one to be the one I’d post today. I hadn’t even touched it in months; it was still just an fifty-six word idea, a what if.
> 
> Yes, I know. Ryou has a lot of different smiles here, but I’m glad I finished it. I’ll fix errors eventually.


End file.
